7 Tips to Remember When Breaking Bad News to Children

Posted on November 19, 2014 by Chai Lifeline

7 Tips to Remember When Breaking Bad News to Children

There are a million reasons why we can’t shield our children from the reality of death. Nor should we.

Our challenge is not to keep bad news at bay, but to help our children understand, accept and express themselves when it happens.
ray ban sunglasses german

: Adults can help children synthesize news of death, tragedy, or trauma into their lives.

It will be the rare child who will pass into adulthood without being touched by the death of someone close. Events like this week’s massacre at a Har Nof, Israel, synagogue, splashed all over the media in gory detail, can also shock or trigger distress. Chai Lifeline’s crisis team offers parents a 7-point guide for adults who must help children process a personal or communal tragic event.

1. Get yourself under control. Showing emotion is appropriate. Allowing yourself to be overcome with grief when transmitting news is scary for children. They need to know that an adult will take care of them.

2. Talk about death in age appropriate, direct, factual terms. Speak in a gentle voice. Parents can hug their children, hold their hands, or place their arm around their shoulders.

3. Encourage children to give voice to their feelings. Emphasize that there are no right or wrong reactions. Validate their emotions. Chances are, whether the dominant feeling is sadness, anger, relief that someone is no longer in pain, or intense longing, others feel it as well.oakley gascan sunglasses

4. Focus children’s attention on activities that can provide solace. If they don’t want to speak, they may feel better by drawing, writing in a journal, playing, making music or engaging in art projects.

5. Let children know who they can turn to for support. Never leave a child feeling stranded.

6. Encourage children to engage in activities they find comforting and relaxing. Let them know that even the saddest people need to play, be with friends, and distract themselves or they will be overwhelmed by grief. At the same time, you need to allow children to be children. Don’t get upset when they act their age.

7. Understand that children process bad news differently at each stage of childhood.Cheap ray ban sunglasses

Getting Your Kids Into the Game

Posted on October 20, 2014 by Chai Lifeline

Getting Your Kids Into the Game

Most of us recognize Title IX as the shorthand for Federal regulations requiring schools to provide equal access to sports to women. But do you know that similar regulations mandate that children in schools that receive federal funding have equal opportunities to participate in all activities, including sports and extracurricular programs?
air jordan retro 1
In theory, this means that schoolchildren can’t be left out because of physical or cognitive disabilities. In reality, inclusion takes understanding and work on the parts of families, schools, community sports leagues and sports facilities.
air jordan 9 retro

Sports and group activities are an important outlet for all children, regardless of health or abilities.

nike air max 97
Many times, children who are ill or who have disabilities end up on the sidelines simply because no one knows how to include them or because they fear that inclusion will be expensive, intrusive, or uncomfortable for healthy children. Sometimes, talking to coaches, teachers, and other parents can help ease the way for a disabled athlete. Be prepared to stand your ground, though. PGA pro Casey Martin, who suffers from a degenerative nerve disease, went all the way to the Supreme Court to assert his right to use a golf cart in tournaments.
nike air total max uptempo
Remember that some sports activities are easier to integrate. Disabled athletes can use prosthetics during swim meets or hand cycles during bicycling events without impacting other children. Team sports require more cooperation, but isn’t what we’re trying to teach children when they play together? If you encounter resistance (and even Casey Martin’s pro-colleagues groused when he needed a golf cart), ask dissenters to remember that sports are supposed to be fun for children. It isn’t – and shouldn’t be – all about winning. Offer to speak to classes and teams about inclusion. Many times, the kids get it before their parents. They feel good about helping someone else feel like part of the group.
air jordan 11 for sale
If your child needs more assistance than your school or town can give, there are organizations that specialize in everything from adaptive skiing to therapeutic riding to running marathons. Disabled Sports USA is a good place to start. The New York City Sports Commission lists NY State resources, including adaptive playgrounds; other states may have similar guides.

Physical activity promotes cardiovascular and physical strength and increases range of motion and physical activities. These are as important for sick children as healthy ones. Most important, mastery of a sport or activity (at any level) helps children feel good about themselves. The self-confidence and esteem will transfer to other areas of their lives. So encourage all children — healthy, ill, or disabled — to have fun!

When the September Dilemma Continues Into October

Posted on October 12, 2014 by Chai Lifeline

When the September Dilemma Continues Into October

For children who are ill, returning to school in September can be a mixture of relief and dread. Relief, because children thrive on the order, routines, and social life of school. Dread, because school can be an ambivalent experience for students who need some sort of accommodation in school.
air jordan iii
While schools must meet the needs of ill and disabled students by law, administrators and teachers range from amazingly helpful to eye-poppingly intransigent when asked to deviate from their norm. Parents are often counseled to “wait and see,” but what can you do when September turns into October and your child hasn’t settled comfortably into school?
Wholesale ray ban sunglasses
Thankfully, it doesn’t happen all the time. But it occurs often enough for us to have gleaned some advice from Chai Lifeline’s professionals and parents of children who are out of school for cancer treatments or who need extra assistance because of chronic illness or disabilities.
Italy nike air max
read full story →

How Does Your Synagogue Welcome Your Child?

Posted on October 2, 2014 by Chai Lifeline

How Does Your Synagogue Welcome Your Child?

This is the time of year when Jews spend a lot of time in synagogues. And when parents are in shuls and temples, so are their children. Or are they?
nike air max womens
Unfortunately, many houses of worship are less than welcoming to young members who require wheelchairs or other medical equipment. There’s the physical challenge of getting into the building or the sanctuary: small rooms, old buildings built before ramps were required, women’s sections in balconies that are inaccessible and/or a lack of elevators can make it impossible for any but the most able-bodied to enter. (Children aren’t the only people in wheelchairs. Elderly men and women who use walkers and wheelchairs can also be “locked out.”) In my synagogue, a young woman who is blind requires not only a chair to sit in, but a place for her Braille prayer books (which come in a set of 23 volumes for the High Holidays) and a lectern to place them. Not every synagogue has that amount of real estate to spare.
ray ban wayfarer sizes

Oakley sunglasses Outlet Online
A recent blog post from the Ruderman Foundation noted that children who attend camps for the ill or disabled often return home to a world where they are once again on the sidelines. Those whose families attend services on Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and/or the festivals of Sukkos and Simchas Torah sometimes feel a keen disconnect between the inclusion of summer camp and the world of the synagogue, which ideally should offer a haven to all. The Ruderman Foundation has built partnerships and provided grants to organizations of all denominational and non-denominational stripes to foster the inclusion of ill and disabled children and adults. But changes, whether physical or attitudinal, can be slow.

How was your child welcomed into synagogue this year? What were the positives? What could be improved? What would you advise your rabbi or board about making the synagogue an easier place for ill children and their families to navigate?

P.S. Here’s something to start your synagogue board thinking: low cost ways to make synagogues more welcoming to the disabled.

cancer, kids, camp, cancer camp, kids with cancer, tumor, blood

Starting the New Year Off Right

Posted on October 1, 2014 by Chai Lifeline

Starting the New Year Off Right

We at Chai Lifeline have discussed writing a blog for years. Why haven’t we? Well, there are several excuses, er…reasons. What will we bring to the blogosphere that hasn’t been written before? Who will write it? Who will read it?
custom oakley sunglasses

Welcome to our blog: Chai Lifeline’s ideas on parenting, grandparenting, “sibling-ing” and living with serious pediatric illness.

ray ban sunglasses price
The truth is that we have much to say about living with pediatric illness. Since 1987, Chai Lifeline has helped tens of thousands of families navigate the waters of life-threatening illnesses like cancer and chronic illnesses that run the gamut from things you’ve heard of (like cerebral palsy) to genetic illnesses so rare only a few http://gradeessaywriter.co.uk/ children have them. As for the latter two questions, the answer is, “We’ll write it. We hope you read it.”
nike air jordan retro 11
Read it, comment, and enlighten us with your experiences and your knowledge.
nike air jordan 4
Just a few ground rules: We welcome discussion, but we do edit comments. They must be on-topic and respectful. Yes, you can disagree, but keep the language polite, please. Trolls will be thrown off the site.